Old-Man Repellant

I was feeling a little better this morning, and the doctor says I'm over the worst of the flu and no longer contagious, so I went to the barbershop this morning. It was reeking of Old-Man Repellant, pungent and intolerable. There were three of them, all under four years old. They were screaming and crying and fighting over some toy or other, while their mother sat eighteen inches away, totally oblivious, reading her Cosmopolitan. Just as I was about to be overcome by the poisonous atmosphere, the barber announced to the 6-year-old in the chair, "well, you're all done, son", and before I could get my jacket zipped back up, the mother and her swarming pack of vermin were heading out. So I was able to get a haircut after all. It's still only $7 including tip, cheapest place around, if you can put up with having to come back several times to avoid the old-man repellent.