How much do you remember?

If your last name is different from mine, you can use Wikipedia. Otherwise, see if these questions bring back memories: 1. Which of the following trains uses the "Chunnel"? a. NMBS b. Thalys c. Eurostar d. DeLijn e. Thomas 2. The Carousel Pannekoeken huis in Amsterdam next to the canal boat dock serves: a. Ostrich patties b. Leonidas chocolates (but not from Sparta) c. Green tea with orange sherbet d. Pancakes, dry, with grated cheese and pieces of meat sprinkled on top e. Beer made out of ground-up newspapers 3. A "crocque monsieur" is: a. the sign on the caiman's cage in the Paris zoo. b. the nickname for an alligator, used by natives of New Orleans c. a tool used for extracting teeth from French dental patients d. a toasted ham-and-cheese sandwich e. a derogatory term, used by the French, referring to drivers of Italian automobiles 5. The famous "London Eye" is actually located in: a. Norway b. the lobby of the South Bend, Indiana, municipal airport c. the large intestine d. most European restrooms e. London 6. Every member of my immediate family has stayed in the Ibis, located 2 blocks from the entrance to the St. Mande station, on the Metro line that runs between: a. Cairo and Istanbul b. the Alamo and downtown St. Paul c. Paris and Vincennes d. Space Mountain and It's a Small World e. Fairbanks and Homer 7. The Battle of the Golden Spurs was fought between the French and the inhabitants of the picturesque medieval Flemish town which today is the location of: a. a chocolate museum, a huge belfry, the Basilica of the Holy Blood, the Lake of Love, and a beautiful beguinage b. Charlemagne's forearm, Pope Leo's stuffed miniature dachshund, and Napoleon's middle finger c. the original Smokey the Bear d. a statue of Spongebob Squarepants e. the studio where "Space Ghost Coast-to-Coast" is filmed 8. Henry VIII's hunting lodge, Bolebroke Castle, is located a few miles from: a. the Idaho state capital b. Poohstick's bridge c. the manufacturing plant that makes Toyota accelerator pedals d. Paradise Falls e. The River Po 9. Princess Diana, Lady Spencer, died in the Pont d'Alma Tunnel, almost directly underneath: a. the Sydney Opera House b. a small replica of the torch from the Statue of Liberty c. the penguin's cage in Madagascar d. Hogwarts admissions office e. Mt. Everest 10. The ubiquitous "DeLijn stops" can be found all over the place throughout: a. Tiger Woods' little black book b. the Milky Way c. Dr. Seuss books d. Flanders e. Disney DVD's 11. To a man in Europe, a "pissoire" on the street corner serves the same purpose as: a. a fire hydrant serves to a dog in New York City b. a pocketwatch serves to a train conductor c. a camera serves to Steve Spielberg d. a GPS e. an internet cafe 12. A "doner kebap" usually comes with: a. her own set of oil paints b. a broom c. a piano, a banjo, and a kazoo d. frites and looksaus e. a sincere apology 13. Which of the following is durn near impossible to find in Europe? a. a place where someone has used the bathroom on the sidewalk b. a long line of people waiting for something c. a lady sitting at a card table demanding 50-cent pieces from everyone who wants to use a public restroom d. Oreo cookies, graham crackers, oatmeal, and maple syrup e. dogs walking around inside department stores 14. The low birthrate in Europe is due primarily to: a. the prevalence of cobblestone streets combined with the widespread masochistic use of bicycles by the male population -- in a misguided effort to see who can be the most manly (and thus ends up being the least manly) b. a diet high in mussels fished from the North Sea c. attending church in cathedrals filled with 16th-century paintings of people wearing little or no clothing d. European bed design and construction, which in America has been adapted for use as picnic tables at interstate rest areas. e. the low popularity of deodorant among the European population 15. "Schloss Lembeck": a. is a beautifully maintained castle surrounded by a moat and gardens b. is German for "tiny dog wearing a red plaid sweater and too stupid to be embarrassed about it" c. is the proper reply when a Frenchman sneezes on you d. usually comes out after two or three launderings e. is something you buy at a German drugstore when you have a severe bout of constipation 16. "Carrefoure" is: a. an Olympic figure-skater from Switzerland b. a Belgian dish made with chocolate, mayonnaise, witloof, cheeseballs, and beer, c. the Belgian version of Walmart d. the clear plastic glove you wear to pick up after your dog in the park. e. the plus-sized French porn actress who made a fortune writing a book on how to read German highway signs 17. A "Buzzy Pass" is: a. the impolite noise you make after eating too many bean-and-onion wontons at Smiling Charlie's Chinee takee-outee place b. the feeling you get when you take those aspirin tablets they hand out for free on Ryan Airways c. a monthly unlimited-use tram ticket for teenagers in Flanders d. the Flemish name for the ring tone on a cell phone e. a haircut popular among elderly Belgians 18. The "Grote Ganz" is: a. the part of your body you usually sit on b. the official title of the Belgian legislative assembly c. a river in western Pakistan d. a restaurant in downtown Antwerp, with straw on the floor, candles on the tables, no fire extinguishers, no salt shakers, waiters who wear tights and neckerchiefs serving meals starting at around $20 per plate... and not a single fork anywhere in the whole place... but you get to take your wooden spoon home with you. e. the Belgian nickname for a clogged drain 19. How many different brands of beer are there in Belgium? a. only one, but lack of quality control makes it seem like dozens b. six; one for each province c. fifty-one; one named for each of the 50 American states, plus Stella Artois, which Belgians believe will one day become the 51st U.S. state d. 477 e. Belgians don't drink beer, they drink tap water 20. The sign "Gesloten Zonnedagen en Feestdagen" means: a. No cats allowed in here b. Keep your hands to yourself and there won't be any trouble c. I've got a bad case of athlete's foot d. Flush after every use e. Closed Sundays and Holidays 21. The term "Mind the Gap" refers to: a. the rough abrasive texture of European toilet paper b. the inability of the French to understand French when spoken by anyone who is not being haughty, arrogant, rude, obnoxious, condescending, and therefore obviously not really French. c. the tendency of Americans to back up two steps when talking to a European, who naturally wants to stand close enough that his eyebrows tickle your nose when he talks. d. the maddening habit of London subway architects to build their stations on curves in the track rather than straight sections of track. e. the 20-minutes per day that any given store, bank, or other commercial establishment is actually open for business, along with the wild guess as to what time of day that 20 minute period will occur.