Each issue of our campus newspaper, The Breeze, has a section titled "Darts and Pats", where readers can write in anonymously with little gripes, complaints, or compliments and kudos. It would be an interesting sociology exercise to analyze, say, a years' worth of these tidbits for psychiatric purposes. Here is a sampling from today's column:
A "thanks-for-the-interesting-morning" pat to the sorority that covered my car with sticky-notes address to "Sarah". -- From a senior named Andrew who is curious how you managed to miss your target, but it definitely made his day.
A "being-late-was-worth-it-for-a-change" pat to the guy who kept me company when the train stopped me from getting to Memorial Hall on time for class. -- From a girl who wishes the little engine had thought it couldn't for little bit longer.
An "I-don't-want-to-think-about-how-many-germs-I'm-touching" dart to the crusty gummy keyboards in Carrier Library's computer lab. -- From a girl who's on Team Carrier, but doesn't want to check out a disease.
A "the-zoo-called-and-they-want-you-to-come-back" dart to the elephants who live upstairs from us. -- From the girls in the apartment below you who didn't even notice the 5.8 Earthquake last month.
An "I'm-not-usually-like-this" pat to the Class of 2015 for putting up with my sorry, depressing behavior. -- From Mother Nature, who has been been off her meds lately.
A "you-certainly-know-how-to-creep-me-out" dart to the boys in the apartment across from us who put up a life-sized cutout of a semi-nude hockey player on their door. -- From a girl who keeps thinking someone is looking at her through the screen door every time she comes in or out.
A "thanks-for-helping-make-us-look-respectable" pat to the LGBT Student Alliance for having the courage to stand up and let the world know about our alternative lifestyles. -- From the members of the Students for the Promotion and Acceptance of Sexual Behaviors involving Oak Trees, Maples, and other Assorted Deciduous Woody Plants.
A "we-can-bring-capital-punishment-back-you-know" dart to the professor who made us waste $462 on the stupid required textbook and then never used a single sentence from it all semester. -- From a poverty-stricken student who was independently wealthy before taking your class and was even more ticked when the bookstore refused to buy it back because you'd adopted the NEW EDITION for next semester!
1 comment:
Bahahahaha. I wish our school newspaper had something like this. Some of those are really funny!
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